The journey of a couple who have a large blended family of 6 kids, (one baby together) balancing life and our passions. Dad is a jiu jitsu fighter and mom is an aerialist who teaches and performs. It is hectic and exhausting but we make it work!
They come into this world so adorable, sweet and perfect. You have been anticipating their arrival and you are so ready for the excitement and love that they bring into your home. All this is true but then at some point the other shoe has to fall. The perfect relationship turns into a real one and you find yourself dealing with….the fussy baby.
Maybe you don’t. Maybe you have a content baby that only fusses here and there but that has never been my situation. This is my third and while there is a big gap between my first two and this one, I remember vividly all of them being super fussy.
What can you do in this situation? Have you missed something? Well let’s go down the checklist:
Diaper freshly changed?
I know there are many times when I go through this list over and over and still he is fussy. I have tried the bouncer, rocker and glider but nothing seems to be helping.
So what is the magic thing, what works every time and is the secret to getting things done especially when it’s just you and him?
Oh, I don’t know. Were you expecting me to? I have no idea, here I am on my third, thinking I knew all the answers and was well equipped and I find myself with the same frustrations after a couple of hours of the fussiness. Here are some ideas though.
Time: One day they will get older and they may still whine (alot) but at least they won’t be constantly crying.
Siblings: Set them up safely with an old enough sibling and back away slowly.
Grandma (or grandpa, aunty, whathaveyou): for those lucky enough to live near one of these extremely useful human beings take advantage every chance you get.
Strollers: What we have been doing lately is Thomas has been taking him for a run and this usually works like a charm.
Earplugs: This option is pretty self explanatory.
So there you have it. The list showing my knowledge of how to deal with a crying fussy baby. If you learn anything from this post it’s that I know very little about the subject and am writing this post in a desperate attempt to solicit some good information through your feedback.
Let me start by saying our number one passion is our kids and family. With that being said we both, being comfortably in our thirties understand the importance of self care and having outlets. It makes us a better couple and better parents and that is good for everyone. As I sit here typing to the sounds of a fussy baby i’ll try to give you some insight into our somewhat unique gyms that we are passionate about. I will do my best to explain his correctly so please bear with me.
Thomas’ passion is Jiu Jitsu. Three of our four son’s participate in it as well and I’m sure the baby will follow suit seeing as how he has already “rolled around on the mats.” I will do my best to give it the credit it deserves. Our family belongs to Moreno Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a local gym here in our town. I say family because as it turns out Jiu Jitsu is a very family oriented sport. Most days that Thomas goes he takes at least a good portion of our kids with him. They are either there playing with their friends or participating in class or open gym. From what I have seen of my two sons it has been a great way for them to learn discipline, self-esteem and physically how to understand and manipulate their bodies which is a hard skill for most adults to learn. There are also a lot of events that go with it including local tournaments which are really exciting especially if you are competitive. With Thomas specifically the sport helped him lose a good amount of weight and gain self esteem as well. Having always been a fighter involved in different styles he decided to join adult classes after bringing his children in. It was an important transitional time in his life after a separation and I believe shaped his new life and the decisions he made for it. He was able to put all his stress into it and it was a healthy outlet for him. He now still holds all that passion for the sport and the people of this gym and makes it a priority for both his physical and mental well being.
Now for my gym. Oh how I love my gym I could sit here and boast about it all day! I belong to an Aerialist gym right across the highway from Moreno called Smash Studios and Fitness. We offer classes in silks, lyra, pole as well as others we feature from time to time like Aerial Yoga, Trapeze, Cube and different apparatuses. I have been here in many facets for almost five years!! This similar to Thomas’ is a very specialized, focused gym and I am obsessed. I have been a student, an instructor, a manager and for a time the owner and I am currently getting my footing back after having our baby. I started curious about their pole fitness classes and it blossomed into me trying everything. I really turned a corner after my separation and subsequent divorce and that was when it really turned into a passion, an escape and an outlet. I myself and many others have blossomed in our gym. I know there are a lot of misunderstandings and questions about this sport. From what I have seen we make it possible for women (mostly) to realize that their bodies are capable of so much more than they thought. The strength this sport builds and the beautiful and feminine shapes it holds transform them and it is a really cool process to watch. It is also the reason I love being a part of it and teaching it. I have also built a family in this gym. A safe place I could go and be myself and make mistakes. I could go and laugh when I needed and cry when I needed. I have made this a priority as well and will continue to until I simply can’t any longer.
I wanted to make sure and explain these because I feel it makes me and Thomas’ life unique. It adds to the chaos and the balancing act but we both love it so much it is worth it to us. We make our kids fit into it because they are our number one. Also I may be trying his soon so I will be sure to share that experience as well!
I’ll start with myself. I am a 36 year old divorced mom of 3. I have had different jobs in my life but most of them have had to do with fitness. I am certified as a personal trainer but I much prefer fitness in group settings like teaching classes for different gyms which I currently do at an Aerialist gym. I dabbled in owning/running it for the last 9 months or so and think I will own another business someday. I also just recently got my license to be an insurance agent here in North Carolina so we’ll see what I do with that.
I am a bit of a dreamer and need to feel motivated and passionate about things if not I tend to stop doing whatever that thing is. Currently I am a sahm mom because of my current situation.
Thomas my partner is a 34 year old dad of 4 biologically. He is a veteran who works at our local base where he’s been for a long time. He is heavy into jiu jitsu and one of the most caring, loving, sensitive and smartest person I have ever met. He is very unique and quirky (which I love).
We met when I was dating someone else and while I thought he was very cute and had a really sweet story I pushed that out of my mind to be a good girlfriend to the person I was currently dating. That relationship, (as they tend to do ) fizzled and I found myself yet again a single mom disappointed and unsure if I would ever find what I was looking for….a family oriented man. I had spent years since my divorce figuring out what I did and didn’t want out of a relationship and at this point I knew that was exactly what I wanted. One day I was at our local gymnastics facility watching my boys do their classes when I heard this deep voice say my name out of nowhere. I turn around to see Thomas in some kind of strange sweats leaning up against the wall with his hood on.
We talked for a minute and caught up briefly before I went to take my seat in the bleachers. It was a very short and casual encounter but it stuck in my mind which surprised me. Anyway, we decide to meet up about a week later and that would be a date that changed absolutely everything. I was basically living with him within a week, cancelled another lease I had put a deposit on, moved me and boys in and we started our new life! Cut to a little over a year later and we have his three who are 11 (girl), 9 (girl) and 6 (boy), my two boys 12 and 8 and a 5 week old surprise baby boy blessing!
This is our life and it is full of kids, sports, baby, homelife, chaos, fun and love! I would love to keep you updated on the ups and downs, things that work and things that have not. Please follow me and my journey!